


Misery Fell

by rabiddog



Series: Take us to Heaven [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, False Accusations, Gen, Hinata Shouyou is a Little Shit, Kageyama Tobio Angst, Kageyama Tobio Needs a Hug, Kozume Kenma Needs a Hug, Kozume Kenma-centric, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Light Angst, Manipulation, POV Kozume Kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:48:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29716026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabiddog/pseuds/rabiddog
Summary: When finding out that Hinata's allegations and accusations had been fake and complete lies, it hit the Nekoma team hard, undoubtedly so.But it hit Kenma the hardest.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma & Sawamura Daichi
Series: Take us to Heaven [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183148
Comments: 55
Kudos: 179





	Misery Fell

**Author's Note:**

> ** You won't be able to understand this without reading Estrangement first.

Kenma wasn't one for drama. He wasn't somebody who particularly enjoyed it, nor did he often find himself immersed within petty arguments or picking sides like some people in his school tended to entertain. It was a pretty boring, uninteresting thing to him – he just didn't see the point in unnecessary theatrics that could be easily avoided or ignored. 

He honestly preferred to keep himself hushed and isolated, mainly away from any sort of, well, _anything_. Though then again, that could be passed off as just his nature, seeing as it was how he'd been perceived ever since he was a kid. Quiet. Shy. Dispassionate about anything that wasn't videogames (or occasionally Kuroo.) 

Kenma kept to himself, and everyone knew that. They were aware of it and had accepted it long ago. 

But then it changed when one Hinata Shoyo entered the picture. 

Hinata, with his bubbling personality and warm flare, Hinata with his beaming smiles and bright eyes, Hinata with his persona so, so different to Kenma's, and yet the two appeared to click instantly despite it. 

They were two peas in a pod ever since the short ginger had practically barged into Kenma's life – shoving himself through the blonde's built-up, iron walls with only a lick of brute strength and willpower. Kenma had been weak to him from the very start. 

So weak, in fact, that his general rules of 'stay out of other people's business, stay quiet, ignore drama, ignore arguments, video games only' was thrown entirely out of the window the minute Hinata had rung him in a fit of breathless tears. 

_"He- he hit me, Kenma."_

_Kenma had actually paused at that, fingers stilling on shifting buttons and his back going completely rigid. Though he hadn't been completely listening, he was sure that they'd been talking about Kageyama, about Hinata's _boyfriend_. But that wouldn't make sense, would it? Why would... _

_"What do you mean?"_

_Hinata appeared to pause for a moment, just a hitch of breath shifting through the phone lines before he continued._

_"Kageyama hit me. He hit me, and- and I don't know what to do, or who I'm supposed to tell, or if I should even tell anyone- I probably shouldn't even be telling you, because- because I don't want to get him into trouble, but-"_

_"Woah, Shoyo. Hold on. Pause for a second." Kenma stressed, his pitch of voice rising just slightly as he too paused his game – something that he didn't often do, not even for Kuroo's insistent whining. " _Kageyama_ hit you?" _

_Hinata swallowed, nodding even if Kenma couldn't see. "Yeah- yeah, he did."_

_This time, it was Kenma who went quiet for a few moments._

_The blonde's eyebrows were furrowed, lips downturned, and expression both sour and puzzled all at once. He didn't really know what to say, how to react – what he should even do at that point. Hitting was bad. Hitting was really bad. It was abuse and wrong, and Kenma- Kenma didn't know how to deal with it properly._

_He'd never been in a situation like this before. He'd never been in a situation where he'd have to help so suddenly and with such a serious topic. He was undoubtedly in too deep for his boots._

_But this was Hinata. This was Kenma's best friend, and he couldn't just leave him hanging with no response, not when the ginger sounded so, so distraught. What kind of a friend would Kenma be if he just hung up without another word?_

_A bad one, that's what._

_"Tell me more."_

__

Kenma should have directed Hinata to somebody else – somebody closer to him, in more of a physical sense than anything. Somebody who wasn't hundreds of miles away and who would be able to help him immediately, to at least try and sort out the mess of a situation that Hinata had explained. 

It wasn't good. There had been mentions of abuse, physical or otherwise, mentions of manipulation and arguments, and it was all completely frazzling Kenma's overworking mind. 

He'd tried hard to offer his support, to offer needed help and kind, soft-spoken words to a crying Shoyo, but it had been tricky. Kenma wasn't exactly known to be a huge empath, and he certainly didn't know how to emotionally connect with people so in tune with their feelings like Hinata was. 

So, after their long, long phone call had ended, Kenma had turned to Kuroo for his support. 

_"Don't tell anyone, Kenma, okay? I can- I can deal with it. Don't tell anyone."_

Sure, Hinata had told him not to mention it. To keep his lips shut and sealed forever, but that wasn't the right decision, was it? Even Kenma, reclusive, quiet, Kenma, knew that abuse was a serious topic. And if Kageyama really had been abusing Shoyo (which Kenma, at that point, definitely believed), then they couldn't just keep it quiet. 

They needed people to know, know what type of person Kageyama was, and make sure that he couldn't hurt anyone else. Or at least, that had been Kenma's logic at the time, as flawed as it seemed now. 

So again, he'd turned to Kuroo. 

That had been the first of many mistakes, which had only landed him in the depth of troubles he couldn't drag his way out of. 

.

* * *

. 

For Kenma, after what had happened with Hinata, life had continued as normal for him. Or at least, as normal as his life usually was on a team full of overly energetic cats with sharp claws and dangerous tongues. (Each petty argument that was bound to break out during practice only appeared to add another level of stress onto Kenma's sagging shoulders.) 

He hadn't really heard much from his orange-tipped friend, especially not after Kenma had spilled the beans to Kuroo, and then Kuroo had told Bokuto – who had taken it upon himself to tell almost everyone that they were even remotely close with. 

Rumors had been spread, talks of fights and physical abuse so bad, so horrendous that Kenma's stomach felt queasy. 

People were believing it too, hearing so much gossip and false words that the actual "truth," the one that Kenma had heard initially and come out with, had been so buried that even he barely remembered it at that point. 

Guilt was a constant feeling festering within his aching chest, an emotion that he wasn't especially used to, but also one that had snowballed rapidly and was slowly beginning to strangle him. 

It wasn't guilt for what he'd done, not particularly because he genuinely did believe that Kageyama's wrongdoings – what he'd done to Hinata – needed to be exposed and talked about. It was more so guilt that he'd gone behind Shoyo's back. Kenma had told people when it hadn't really been his place. 

But then again... wasn't it better that others knew now? It was out in the open, and hopefully, by some miracle, it might've spread back to the Karasuno team, so they'd be able to get in contact with an adult – their coach or teacher, perhaps, and then Hinata would get proper aid. 

That was Kenma's logic, and he wasn't wrong, was he? He'd done the right thing, surely- 

"Kenma!" 

The blonde's head shot up as his name rang throughout the sports hall, sweat dripping down the side of his flushed face, and his hands were shaking. He'd been bending down to pick up a ball when his coach had called out for him, right in the middle of practice. 

"Uhm. Yeah?" 

Nekomata had a phone in hand, waving it slightly as he peered towards the teen. "You have a call if you wouldn't mind coming and answering it." 

Huh. 

Was he stopping his practice for a phone call? Surely, it must be important, seeing as Nekomata preferred Kenma to work as much as possible and _not_ slack off. Hopefully, it wasn't too important or bad, like' your family has been in a crash,' sort of bad. 

Kenma would much prefer the call to be his mother telling him that she's coming to pick him up early. That would be nice, and he'd be very grateful. 

"Okay, coach." The blonde nodded, letting the ball drop again as he headed over, pointedly ignoring Kuroo's taunting crow of _" Ooh, wonder what kind of trouble Kenma is in this time!"_ He wasn't in any trouble and hadn't been before, so there was no 'first time' or 'this time.' 

(Kuroo appeared to be teasing, but Kenma could sense the underlying concern laced within his words.) 

Whatever. 

"Uh, hello?" He answered as his fingers wrapped around the phone, brows furrowed, and confusion swimming in honey eyes. 

Kenma had stepped to the side, half-in, half-out of the side door to the gym. Partially for the quiet and partially for the calm breeze. (It was doing wonders for his buzzing nerves.) 

"Kenma, hello. I don't know if you remember me too well, but it's Daichi, from-" 

"Oh. From Karasuno. I remember you." He couldn't understand why the captain of Karasuno would want to talk to him, but Kenma definitely did remember him. How could he forget the leader of the crows? 

Daichi cleared his throat, "Ah, good. Good. I just wanted to call you briefly and talk to you about," There was a slight pause, an intake of breath, and Kenma's frown only deepened. "About Hinata. Hinata and Kageyama." 

Oh. Hinata and Kageyama? So, it'd gotten out that Kenma had first spread the news, then? Perhaps Daichi was just trying to do collateral or something like that. Maybe he wanted Kenma to try and clear some things up with other people and teams; maybe the rumors had gotten too out of hand, or- 

"It was a lie. All of it." 

Kenma blinked slowly. Time appeared to come to a screeching halt, as did his heart (though that quickly sunk to the pits of his stomach.) 

"What?" 

Daichi seemed to sigh then, "The rumors, of abuse and manipulation, and whatever else that Hinata might have told you. It was all lies. Made up. Done out of spite, or anger, or- or something like that. We don't really know yet, but I just-" 

"No. No. What? I don't understand." Kenma couldn't wrap his head around it." I don't understand." 

"Kenma, I'm sorry for my bluntness, and I'm sure that this must be hard for you, being Hinata's best friend and all, but everything that he told you was false. Kageyama never hit Hinata; there was never even a shred of abuse like that - or any abuse, for that matter. Yes, they did break up, but it wasn't a toxic or horrible thing. It was just a breakup." 

The blonde swallowed, hands shaking, eyes wide and unblinking. 

"But Shoyo said... He said that..." 

Daichi hummed, "I know. It's what he told some of us, too, and we believed him, as we should have, obviously. But there's... there's been a lot of things going on – things being exposed and talked about, and Hinata's talked a lot about what had happened and what he did." 

"There's no easy way of telling you this, Kenma. But you were used. Hinata wanted the rumors to get out, he wanted to get back at Kageyama, and he knew that you wouldn't be able to hold your tongue around somebody, most presumably Kuroo. I'm sorry, and I know how uncharacteristic it must seem, but..." 

Daichi sighed, raking a hand through his hair as he spoke, "But it happened, and I wanted to let you know. Feel free to tell the rest of your team, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell any others. I'll be contacting the other groups and letting them know later on. Goodbye, Kenma. If you have any more questions, feel free to ring me back later." 

Kenma couldn't bring himself to spit out a response, no matter how much he might have tried, and Daichi didn't wait for one, either. 

The long, lasting beep of an ended call was all that rung out as the phone slipped from between Kenma's shaking fingers. 

.

* * *

. 

"You're sure that Hinata lied?" 

Kenma's head snapped up; eyes narrowed, hair swinging wildly from side to side. "That's what I said, isn't it? I wouldn't- I wouldn't _lie_ about that." 

"Jeez, Kenma. I was only asking," Kuroo sighed, holding his hands up as if he was attempting to offer a semblance of peace. "It's just hard to wrap my head around it. Why would Hinata lie about something like that for so long? And- and to use you?" 

A huff bubbled from the blonde's lips, and he shook his head. "I don't know either. I would never have expected it from Shoyo. I really thought that..." 

_Thought that they were friends? Thought that they were close? Thought that there would never be a need to lie to one another? Thought that Hinata wouldn't use him as a simple pawn in his sickening mind games?_

It hurt so bad to know that Hinata had only used him for his own gain, in a way. Used him because he'd known that Kenma wouldn't be able to keep the whole ordeal quiet – known that it was such a big and scary accusation that it simply wouldn't, no, couldn't stay under wraps just between the two of them for long. 

Hinata had completely thrown their relationship out of the window just because he wanted a shred of revenge against Kageyama, and it was all over a damn breakup. A breakup that hadn't been done in a malicious way whatsoever, at least according to Daichi. (And at this point, Kenma was inclined to believe the captain.) 

It all hurt so much that, for the first time in years, Kenma wanted to cry. 

He wanted to cry out and scream, demand answers, and shake Hinata until he spilled all of his dirty secrets. He wanted answers, straight answers, and reasons why the ginger had involved Kenma in ruining another player's life. 

Because he really could have ruined Kageyama's future career, that was more than obvious. Sure, Kenma didn't see a long-lasting future in volleyball for himself, but he'd witnessed the dedication and strength behind Kageyama's work, and it was definitely awe-worthy. He was devoted, and yet Kenma might have helped play a part in ruining all of that. 

The blonde sort of wanted to vomit. 

"It's not your fault, you know," Kuroo sighed, moving to perch next to Kenma, and he let an arm wrap around the setter's quivering shoulders. "You didn't know." 

"But it is my fault. I should have known though; I should have- I should have done something to change it, or-" 

"Kenma. You didn't know that Hinata was lying. You were just trying to help out your friend, that's it. If anything, that makes you a better person than most. If he had been an abuse victim, then you would have been doing the right thing, in a way." 

"But-" 

"No buts. None. Just... breathe, okay? We don't have classes for the next few hours, and I really think that you need to relax." 

After the team had found Kenma hyperventilating and almost in a complete state of shock outside, they'd immediately put a halt to practice. Nets had been packed up, balls being put back into their bags, and the players had changed out of their sweaty clothing into something more comfortable. 

The majority of them had first wanted to make sure that Kenma was actually okay, and then they'd been curious. 'Curiosity killed the cat,' but boy, were they intrigued. 

What could have gotten their usually rather stoic setter so worked up? So disturbed that he could barely string a proper sentence together? Shaking and pale, with wide, unblinking eyes and gasping breaths? The onslaught of questions had soon followed the concerned mumblings. 

_"Kenma! Are you okay? What happened?" - Lev._

_"Kuroo, is everything okay with Kenma?" - Yaku._

_"Did something happen on the phone? Who was it?" - Yamamoto._

_"What did they say?" - Fukunaga._

__

Kenma had done his best to calm down, but the guilt, the overwhelming feeling of guilt was weighing heavy on his chest, and he'd barely been able to explain the situation in even somewhat coherent sentences. 

When he had, however, the reaction had been as expected. 

Most of the team had been skeptical at first, asking Kenma to repeat himself constantly (with Kuroo even ringing Daichi back to double-check), and they'd wondered if he was just making up whimsical lies for whatever reason. However, those thoughts were quite quickly pushed away when the Karasuno captain confirmed everything right down to the tee. 

Hinata had lied. They'd been played, essentially, and they'd been pretty harsh on Kageyama, too. (Though, at the start, that had been somewhat warranted.) 

The guilt came rolling in with strong waves, crashing over them and sending their moods plummeting down, down, down. To be lied to, to feel cheated and used and completely wrong was a common set of emotions shared between the Nekoma team. 

Even if they'd thought they were doing the right thing in the beginning, even if it had felt warranted, they'd still royally screwed up. Of course, some of them hadn't done too much, like Lev and Inuoka, who were rather out of the loop (either by choice or not), but the others had spit vile words and spread countless rumors through different methods of communication. 

They'd done things that they greatly regretted and yet didn't know how to come back from it. 

How were they supposed to know the actual truth? Who was lying, and who was telling the truth? Would they be able to apologise to Kageyama? Why had Hinata actually done all of it? What was going to happen? 

Kenma leaned further into Kuroo's embrace with a sigh, his fingers clenching into the material of his shorts. "I don't know how to fix it. To get rid of the shame. I feel sick." 

Believing one thing and then hearing the truth from somebody else so quickly truly felt like whiplash. 

"I know," Kuroo nodded, because he did, sort of. "But it'll be okay. It's going to be okay. We're all going to get through this." 

Even he didn't really believe his own words completely, but he could still pretend, for Kenma's sake. 

(Kuroo might just have to do a little more talking with Daichi about the whole situation and then let Bokuto know what had happened. Or Akaashi. Akaashi might be just a tad more sensible when it came down to it.) 

Either way, they were guilty and shameful and needed a way to get down to the bottom of things and find a way to apologise too. No matter how long it took. 

It was time they grew up and took responsibility for their actions.


End file.
